But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize