pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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