he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
