first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize