Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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