it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
