Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
