I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
