You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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