a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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