Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
