Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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