Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
