So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
