When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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