Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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