you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
