I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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