Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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