don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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