i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
