I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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