Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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