Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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