you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
