she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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