Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
