There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
