Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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