YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm like, not good at living.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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