I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just want to make out with him forever
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
