I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
