every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
4 words: hood of his car
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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