party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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