I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
