My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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