I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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