people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I didn't notice because vodka
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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