Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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