i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
