Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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