It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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