I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
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