I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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