yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
