he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
