i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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