Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
A+ Viking dick
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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