We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Life is so much better after having sex.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize