dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
