great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
