Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
