I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I wear drunk well.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
