I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Enjoy the penises
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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