omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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