Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
