Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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